I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
