Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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