We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
