Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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