i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
