You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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