If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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