Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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