I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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