I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's the barista slut.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
