I'm drive I can fine osifer
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
