OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
