Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this boner is exhausting
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
