My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
