I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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