what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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