who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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