shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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