Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
