i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
