grandma shit on top of the toilet
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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