just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
