I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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