we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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