Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
