are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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