i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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