He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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