weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
