come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
