we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
