I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
