You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
