super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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