So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
