If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
