my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
