she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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