I love having hate sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
