everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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