Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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