just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
