you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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