I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
