I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We got so high we made milksteak
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
