Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
