btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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