she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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