meet me or not, i'm out of control
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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