please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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