ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
