dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize