Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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