Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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